"I'm not clumsy! The floor just hates me, the tables and chairs are bullies and the wall gets in my way!" Unknown

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"It is a great advantage for any man to be able to talk or hear, neither ignorantly nor absurdly, upon any subject; for I have known people, who have not said one word, hear ignorantly and absurdly; it has appeared by their inattentive and unmeaning faces." Lord Chesterfield