English Quotes

"A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail. A best friend is the one sitting next to you saying 'boy was that fun'." Groucho Marx — English Quotes (@english_quotes) May 21, 2021

“I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.” Groucho Marx — English Quotes (@english_quotes) February 3, 2019

“Why should I care about posterity? What's posterity ever done for me?” Groucho Marx — English Quotes (@english_quotes) January 27, 2019

“I've worked myself up from nothing to a state of supreme poverty.” Groucho Marx — English Quotes (@english_quotes) December 1, 2018

“Next time I see you, remind me not to talk to you.” Groucho Marx — English Quotes (@english_quotes) September 24, 2018

“I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.” Groucho Marx — English Quotes (@english_quotes) September 10, 2018

“I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.” Groucho Marx — English Quotes (@english_quotes) September 2, 2018

“Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse.” Groucho Marx — English Quotes (@english_quotes) December 7, 2017

“From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend reading it.” Groucho Marx — English Quotes (@english_quotes) May 24, 2016

“Quote me as saying I was misquoted.” Groucho Marx

“I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.” Groucho Marx

“Die in the West and you're halfway to Heaven.” Groucho Marx

“Comedy is not so much what you do as what you don't do.” Groucho Marx

“Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.” Groucho Marx

“The only real laughter comes from despair.” Groucho Marx