Norm Macdonald

“I don't care for sex. I find it an embarrassing, dull exercise. I prefer sports, where you can win.” Norm Macdonald

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"It is a great advantage for any man to be able to talk or hear, neither ignorantly nor absurdly, upon any subject; for I have known people, who have not said one word, hear ignorantly and absurdly; it has appeared by their inattentive and unmeaning faces." Lord Chesterfield